who's that girl?...

“Who’s that girl in all your pictures?”

“Did you adopt someone new?”  

I have gotten so many of these questions & questions like this over the past year.  If you follow me on Instagram or are a frequent visitor to this blog you may have noticed that in addition to pictures & posts of Chris, Ashlyn, Landon & Pepper, there have also been quite a few that include another girl.  If you haven't noticed, take a look here, here, here, here, & here for just a few examples.

Anyway, this post is long overdue & I think it’s finally time for me to formally introduce you to, Olivia.  

First of all,  Olivia isn’t exactly new to our lives.  I met her at The Story studio way back in May of 2012.  My first night at the studio I was assigned to painting a Styrofoam hand for The Last Supper piece & was led to a spot where a woman & a teenage girl were already busy painting plates & fish for the table.  I’d never met either of them before but they were both very welcoming & included me in their conversation. 

At the time Olivia was just 14 years old & I was…well, we don’t really need to get into that.  I ended up offering her rides to & from the studio & regardless of our age difference, she & I became fast friends.  It actually turned out that Olivia knew Landon because she served in his Sunday school class when he was just 4 years old. 

I invited her over a few times so she could get to know our family but it took some time for her to really warm up to us.  Over the years though, we have all grown a lot closer.  What started with rides to The Story, occasional dinners & nights spent watching Warriors basketball games at our house has turned into something that none of us could have predicted.  She’s become like part of our family.  She’s gone camping with us, spent holidays with us, came to visit Landon in the hospital when he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, gone on adventures with us & has spent time with our extended families.  

Olivia is now 20 years old.  She graduated from high school in 2015 & is currently taking classes at DVC & working at REI.  Here are some things you should know about her: she is hilarious, a detailed note-taker, sassy, beautiful, considerate, fun, loving, kind, helpful, patriotic, a skater, an amazing writer, brutally honest, a talented artist, caring, meme-obsessed, sentimental, observant, dog-loving, loyal & insanely smart. She taught Ashlyn how to skate, helps Landon with his homework & even dropped everything when I hurt my back to come help out around our house.

Sometimes, people ask me what it’s like.  Some people just don’t understand.  Occasionally, some well meaning person will tell me that we are putting our kids at risk by inviting another person into our home & our lives.

To them I would say, God has shown me that He owns all of our days.  He brings each & every person who comes through our door.  Every single one of those people provide us with an opportunity to love God by loving His people.  

Of course our friendship hasn’t been without its ups & downs.  What true relationship hasn’t?  We have all forgiven each other of much.  What I always wanted Olivia to know was that with love there is no limit.  The Bible tells us that love is supposed to be patient & kind.  It doesn’t insist on its own way.  It isn’t resentful.  Love bears all things.  Love endures all things.  Love never ends.  

If the Bible says in Nehemiah 9:17 that God is “a God ready to forgive, gracious & merciful, slow to anger & abounding in steadiest love” then who am I to treat anyone else differently?  

Through His Son, Jesus, God has shown me what He was willing to sacrifice so we could have complete forgiveness of our sins & to show us just how much He loved us.  Loving others isn’t always easy.  That’s why God had to command us to do it - because it doesn’t come naturally to us. But we are trying to show Olivia that we love her & she can’t outrun her chances with us.  

Jesus wanted every bit of everyone.  The good, the bad & the ugly parts.  He didn’t just surround himself with plastic Christians who make themselves look good on the outside.  Jesus sees our hearts.  He doesn't expect us to be perfect here on this earth.  Why should we expect that of others?  We are so used to covering up before we dare step out of hiding in case someone sees the blood, dirt, sweat or the brokenness in our lives.  Well, Olivia has seen our vulnerabilities & we've seen hers.  Sharing the broken truth about our lives shouldn't alienate us from each other.   Walking through life with someone isn't always easy but we don’t see those things as a reason to run or a reason to leave.  We see them as a reason to keep loving each other.

Our kids have learned what its like to truly love others.  Ashlyn & Landon have grown really close to Olivia, often referring to her as their sister.  They have a broader understanding of words like “siblings” & “family” & who that includes. Chris has been known to joke around with her & they talk basketball all the time.  One of the main ways that Chris demonstrates his love for our family is through creating delicious food for us, kindly considering all of our allergies & preferences.  Now, when he is preparing those meals, he also includes Olivia's preferences as well.

Of course, Olivia has her own family who loves her.  We are just her “other family”.  Her bonus family.  We love her like she IS family.

God has taught us how to draw a wider circle & has blessed us all along the way.