cling to the cross...

This is an update on Craig's condition from Jenny.  Please continue to pray for our family during this time.  Thank you to all of you, your prayers are amazing and truly felt by our family.   

"Craig is now experiencing fevers – which we are managing.  He cannot chew so he is on soft foods only.  His lack of interest in food is a real sign of decline.  His left side is now failing in addition to the right side being totally lame. Sometimes his eyes do not work together properly.  Sometimes he has trouble swallowing which is very challenging to keep liquids in him.  He doesn’t do many hand signs anymore.  No more thumbs up.  His communication is only by staring into our eyes.  Sometimes he will pat your arm or if I hold his hand we can “twiddle” our thumbs.

My day got off to a great start.  I laid my head on Craig’s shoulder and put my arm across his chest and told him that I love him.  He slowly moved his left hand up to my arm and began to stroke it.  He has SO little movement in his left hand and that is the last limb with ANY movement.  I laid there and cried and repeated to myself “Remember how this feels!  Remember the touch of his hand!  Remember this moment!  I may never experience this again!  Oh God help me remember!”

 The rest of our day was consistent with our new “normal.”  Maybe more foggy eyes. Difficulty swallowing although late this afternoon, a chocolate shake (a real one – not frozen Ensure masquerading as a milk shake) went down pretty well.

 Even though we are blessed with several pastors who visit every week, we invited the hospice chaplain to stop by.  I wasn’t there but Elease reports the visit went well. The chaplain gave Craig a “holding cross” which is carved from American wood, rubbed totally smooth and polished.  The cross is designed on an angle so that it exactly fits into the hand.  Craig holds the cross 24 hours a day except when we coax him to let us show people or to have his hand washed.  If I try to just pull it out of his hand, he tightens his grip so that I can’t.  It is ALWAYS in his hand even when he is sleeping.  He rubs the smooth wood.  If that was the only sign of spiritual awareness that we ever saw in Craig, it would be pitifully meager comfort.  But all of us who have had the privilege of knowing Craig have witnessed his passion, authenticity and energy in worship of God and proclaiming truth.  Holding the cross is a comforting reminder of the spiritual work that Christ did in his heart so many years ago.

I immediately thought of a song by Paul Baloche.  Here is the chorus: 

I cling to the cross and everything it means
I know it's the only hope there is for saving me
For without Your great mercy
I would be forever lost
With a thankful heart I come
And cling to the cross

 I pray that everyone who reads this is clinging to the cross – not a polished wooden item – but the cross of Christ where we can find forgiveness and salvation."