Ashley, Little Blue Boo
I have asked for prayer many times for my brother-in-law, Craig. The last couple of weeks in addition to the tumor Craig has dealt with new challenges seemingly every day. He has had almost daily trips to the doctor, an infection, a trip to the ER and as Jenny described it "a drug supply greater than some village pharmacies in developing countries."
The tumor has caused Craig to become unsteady on his feet. This could be rather dangerous for him and he now has a cane which helps him a lot. In addition, last week he got a wheelchair so that he won't become so fatigued.
Craig has been a part of a clinical trial at UCSF for a little over a month and on Monday Craig had an MRI to check on his progress. The MRI showed that maybe 25% of the tumor area is slightly reduced and about 75% of the tumor area is enlarged despite the chemo. On Wednesday, UCSF decided that they would not allow Craig to continue with the clinical trial because there has been so little impact on the tumor. Craig's neuro-oncologist has another chemo for Craig to try but it has only provided a 20%-30% response and he is not able to start any new chemo until after the infection he has clears up.
There is good news. Craig aced all of the neurological tests. The doctor was amazed with Craig’s condition and said he didn’t expect Craig to look so good and be so alert after looking at his MRI results.
Craig has a very big decision to make as the risk of further chemo is starting to outweigh the potential benefits. He can choose to try the new chemo or the other option is to do nothing and enjoy life without the nausea, diarrhea and dizziness that chemo provides. Please pray for him because he needs wisdom as he makes this decision.
Its funny because, as Jenny recently said, despite all of the daily challenges and bad news Craig continues to enjoy peace. I know that our entire family has felt this peace throughout this trial. We know that it is God's peace in the midst of the storm. I really think that Jesus provides this peace because He himself suffered and so He is able to grant us mercy and grace to help in our time of need. Cancer is undoubtedly a terrible thing to endure and there is a great deal of suffering that coincides with it but through it God is doing an amazing work in Craig. From the very start of this trial Craig has kept his eyes on the Lord. Of course, he has not-so-good-days, everyone does. But in the face of all that he has and continues to endure he chooses to give glory to God. We all have a choice. You can choose to rejoice in the midst of trials or you can choose to be distressed. Craig has chosen to rejoice and have hope in a loving Father who will not ever leave or forsake him and who provides peace and joy regardless of circumstances.
A lot of people have asked me how Ashlyn and Landon are handling all of this. To be perfectly honesty I don't really know. They ask questions and as with most kids you never really know when or what they are going to ask. I just try to be very honest with them about everything. I don't think they need to know every gory detail but if I paint a pretty picture and tell them that Craig is fine and then they see him and realize he is sick and not fine they won't be able to trust me and the line of communication will be broken.
We pray for Craig every night and throughout the day. Ashlyn and Landon regularly pray for Craig to feel better and that he won't be in pain. I have recently discussed with them the reality that God may decide at some point that Craig needs to go home to be with Him. I don't ever want them to think that God somehow didn't hear their prayers because things don't turn out exactly as they wanted. We would all love Craig to stay here with us and be well but that isn't entirely realistic. We all have to learn to pray for God's will and not our own. God can see a much bigger picture than we can. He knows the outcome of every situation and His will is perfect for our lives. And we can have joy knowing that when Craig goes home to be with the Lord he will have a new body. A perfect body that doesn't have cancer, is not sick and doesn't have any pain.
There are many times when I think about my prayers and realize they are very selfish. I want a healthy family, stability, protection, a good night's sleep. But God may have a very different plan. Trials are brought into our lives to draw us closer to God and mature us in Christ, to increase our endurance. I am grateful for Craig's life. I am amazed and blessed by the faith that he demonstrates every day.
Please pray for Craig. I pray that God will give Craig wisdom, peace and comfort and that God will receive all of the glory until Craig gets to see Him face to face.
Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:16
1 comment:
What a heartfelt post! Craig is in my prayers daily.
I am happy to hear how you are communicating all of this with Ashlyn & Landon. Kids do need to know the truth if they are to believe you and God.
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