a walk to remember...

When I sat down to write this post about the Brain Tumor Walk I had no intention of writing what came out.  We'll just call that some divine intervention.  

Everyone who attended was touched by Craig's life in some way; whether it was intimately knowing him throughout his life, becoming acquainted with him as an adult or through his words & preaching. 

I had the privilege of knowing Craig for 16 years.  It’s not really a long time in the grand scheme of things, but it was for half of his life.  As the two year anniversary of his going home drew closer I was repeatedly reminded of Craig and his life and how he lived. 

Craig was boisterous, loud and funny.  Many times in conversation he would get so enthusiastic talking about something that he would begin to stutter, stop talking and slap his own face in order to regain some control so that he could continue.  Craig was outgoing, often the loudest one in the room.  His smile was always genuine and lit up a room, even towards the end of his days on earth when it was rendered crooked by the tumor.  

And Craig loved Jesus.  This is what I remember the most when I think of him.  It was evident in everything that he did. 

Craig loved music.  He taught himself to play the guitar and would play for hours.  One of my favorite memories of Craig is when he, Hal and Jenny were living with us after his first surgery.  Ashlyn was nine months old and Craig knew how much she loved when he played his guitar.  He would walk around the living room strumming praise songs on his guitar and would laugh as Ashlyn bounced her little body up and down to the music.  To this day, any time I hear the song "God of Wonders" I am immediately transported back to the living room of our home in San Ramon watching the two of them praise God in their own ways.   

We were recently told the story of someone’s first encounter with Craig.  It was in the parking lot of a church before a women’s retreat.  Craig was playing in the praise band and had his guitar with him.  The woman met Craig and before heading into the church they had a conversation about music.  She told Craig that she loved the band Third Day and Craig proceeded to play every Third Day song that he knew right there in the parking lot.  As he was playing and singing he encouraged this self-proclaimed musically challenged person to sing with him.  He told her, it’s not about what I think of you or how you think you sound.  It’s all about God.  If you knew Craig you knew that when he sang he praised God at the top of his voice and with his whole heart. He didn’t care if he accidentally sang the wrong words.  He didn’t care if he was off key, which he often was.  He knew it was all about God and he made a joyful noise, no matter what.

Craig loved people.  He truly saw people and instead of judging them, he loved them.  Craig often reminded us to “take the beam out of our own eye…” when viewing other people.  God blessed our family with another story of Craig’s immense love for people: there was a woman who shared that after being clean and sober for seven years she relapsed.  On one particular day she met her dealer at the Starbucks where Craig worked.  She didn't know it was his Starbucks until she walked in.  Craig knew her and knew her story.  She said she was pretty sure Craig knew or had a hunch what she was doing there (and it had nothing to do with coffee).  She said Craig greeted her and talked with her and showed her love - Christ-like love - when she didn't deserve it.  She said he didn't show any judgment at all - not even in his eyes.  Just love.  And that touched her heart.

Jenny mentioned recently that along with the scriptures that she has posted on her wall she also has this quote by Maya Angelou; “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   Craig made people feel the love of Christ.  It’s no accident that this is what people remember most about their interactions with Craig. 

There is often still grief when it comes to remembering.  Someone recently told me that death is so difficult because it is unnatural.  The truth in that statement really stuck with me.  We were not meant to die; we were meant to live.  We were not meant to be separated; we were not meant to be alone.  The Father had a perfect plan for us but sin ushered in death and separation.  How thankful I am that God offered the gift of grace through His Son. 

God has a funny way of helping us to remember the best things about people after they are gone from us.  Craig had his flaws, we all do.  But like I said, when it comes right down to it, when I think of Craig, I think of Jesus.  Craig wanted others to see Jesus when they looked at him. 

And I can only wonder, when I am gone, what will people remember about me?  How did I make people feel?  Did I show them love that is unconditional, fierce, loyal, and without judgment?  I pray that when people remember me they will see Jesus and that I will show Christ-like love, even when it isn’t deserved, because ultimately that is what Jesus did for me.